My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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