Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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