I've blown a few things in my day
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
