Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
