she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
