Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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