This girl is more easily done than said...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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