I'd wear matching sweaters with you
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
