Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
