A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
