Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
