i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize