goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
