sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
This toilet bowl is my home.
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