she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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