He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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