shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
thus making me awesome and them whores
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
