but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
