All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Boobs are out for the taking
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
