I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
