just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize