I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
