I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It's shark week go big or go home
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
