gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize