Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
