Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
