And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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