He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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