She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
