it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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