if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
