I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
