Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
