Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my sisters under your porch take her home
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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