I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
