If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
