Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
