wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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