Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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