What a fucking waste of an outfit
Your dad touched me again.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
