I will die if light touches me.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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