i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
