I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
