We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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