erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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