I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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