Some one left their pants in the elevator.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
