did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
