So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We had sex on a dog bed..
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
