in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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