I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize