i just made my gag reflex go away.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
