508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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