do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
