my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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