The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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