i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
