Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
