WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
