the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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